well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
