So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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