I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize