I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
