I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
