So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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