Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
