That's intense
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
