I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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