your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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