I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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