the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
