this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
