i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
