I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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