Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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