The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
