we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
