OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
