Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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