We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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