Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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