we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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