You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize