Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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