it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
