so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
