I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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