thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
being pregnant is like rehab
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
