i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it's like iHOP with fire
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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