I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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