Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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