i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
