just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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