Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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