So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
