Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
