But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
