I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
