So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
