Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
