why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
