she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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