She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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