I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize