I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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