"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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