bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
