come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
