since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
