if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
