So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
