I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
