Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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