How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize