When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it because I queefed?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
