have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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