yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
