Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
