Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
