So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
