Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
