She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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