There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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