I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
