well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
