Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
