dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
